Response to Inferno by Dan Brown

“It has always been this way. Death is followed by birth. To reach paradise, man must pass through inferno.” 

― Dan Brown, Inferno

                I’ve always tried to see the world in black and white because moral grey areas tend to create circular, sometimes paradoxical arguments that only end up confusing me. However, for a second there, author Dan Brown in his latest instalment of the Robert Langdon series, Inferno, made me doubt my own long-established beliefs about life and death and the future of mankind. And that mere second was enough to unhinge me.

                Inferno narrates how famous professor and symbologist Robert Langdon races against time (and powerful enemies) to decipher codes and clues that will help him stop a mad genius from unleashing a scientific creation of apocalyptic potential; a potential to decimate a third of the world’s population.

                I’ve been reading books since I was 4 and in that time, the roles of the protagonists and the antagonists have always been clear cut: the former are the good guys and the latter are the bad guys. This is something I have never ever questioned and have taken as a given. That is, until now.

I find myself both fascinated and horrified that, for the first time, I understand and even agree (to a certain extent) with the antagonist of this story, The Lanky Man with Green Eyes. He believed that, at this rate, if humankind continues to procreate, our species will eradicate what resources we have left on this earth and, ultimately, die out. Mathematically speaking, this is an undeniable truth and for that reason, he intends to release a virus that would put a stop to the exponential growth of the world's population. But then, here lies the dilemma… the moral grey area I was referring to: who are we to play God? Why can’t we just let nature take its course since the only real salvation for humanity lies in the coming of the Kingdom of God? But then, here’s another counter argument (yes, I occasionally debate with myself): If we have the ability and the resources to save ourselves, why shouldn’t we do it? We have been doing it for decades with anti-aging products and surgical procedures designed for longevity. So how is this any different?

I’m just going to let those questions hang there because I can debate with myself all day long and still not come up with a reasonably justifiable answer.

However, for the record, I still stick to my beliefs as a Christian and that’s not changing anytime soon. (WrittenBy:AyesahTecson)

Quick Self-Portrait (well, more like a sketch)

Rainy weather sentiments...

Reality Check

"Despereaux squared his shoulders. He had made a decision. He would be brave for the princess. Even if there was no such thing as happily ever after." (DiCamillo, 'The Tale of Despereaux' 2004)

As a kid, I used to love reading and watching fairy tales. I used to beam with happiness whenever Prince Charming comes to the rescue and gets the girl. I used to look forward to the ending because the best part is when the narrator says “…and they lived happily ever after.” But I found that, as I grew older, reality isn’t as charming and happy as those tales made it seem.

No matter how much you want to believe in a fairy god mother, there is none. You’ll have to work your butt off to get what you want because there’s nothing out there that’ll grant you your wishes (I know, because, in some of the darkest moments, I’m ashamed to admit that I tried and it didn’t work).  

We may have a real-life prince, but he’s married, and so are all the other good guys out there. Even then, their married lives aren’t “happily ever after.” Have you seen divorce rates? Crazy.

And what’s left for us single ladies/gentlemen out there? A couple of frogs who’ll just bite you if you try to kiss them.

It’s so easy to give up. To just wallow in depression and self-pity and envy that this world we live in can’t be like the ones in the books we read.

But, what good will that do?

It’s true, we can’t always get what we want but that’s not always a bad thing. You just need to accept the fact that we live in the real world. And in this world, getting your head stuck above the clouds won’t get you anywhere. You can’t put your life on hold, hoping that something better is coming. You just need something to live for or to strive for. If not for someone else, then do it for yourself. Life’s too short to waste on inert wishful thinking. (Yes, I know this post is full of clichés, but you can’t deny the truth behind them.)

If a mouse can be brave… if a mouse can face the unknown unflinchingly… if a mouse can see the Light in the Dark…

Why can’t I?

Why can’t you?

Confession Bear Time: Being an Introvert

“Kumakain ka mag-isa?”

This, with matching sympathetic head tilt, is the greeting I usually get when someone I know spots me eating lunch by myself. It happens almost daily. Usually, I reply with an embarrassed half-smile and say “Oo nga, eh.” But inside I’m thinking, there’s nothing wrong or sad about the prospect of spending quality time with me. In fact, I prefer it that way.

Let me get something straight, though. I am NOT antisocial. I do love socializing, laughing and bantering with my friends, every now and then. It’s just that, as an introvert, these “activities” that outgoing people take for granted are things that I have to work hard for. Most people misunderstand this and say that I’m a loner or, worse, that I’m being plain indifferent. Total myth. It’s just that hanging out with people, even with people I’m close to, takes a lot out of me. It’s draining, but I try really hard not to show it. I don’t want to be an ass about it. I make an effort to be a little bit more “normal,” according to society’s standards. But, occasionally, I do have to power down and pull myself back together, or I will lose it.

For those who interact with me on a daily basis, if you haven’t already noticed, I have “prepared” answers to common greetings, designed specifically to cut the conversation as short as possible. Small-talk is a pain. I never know what to say, except smile and laugh and hope the other person won’t think I’m mentally retarded, or something. I get by, but that’s it.

In spite of all those negative side effects, I’m not ashamed of being an introvert. I can’t imagine being anything or anyone else. I’m content and here’s why:

1. I’m rarely involved in any controversies or rumours around the workplace (that I’m aware of). In any case, if there were any, I couldn’t care less.
2. My imagination is awesome.
3. I can process a great amount of information faster and deeper and more multi-dimensional than most people, because I have mastered the art of thought.
4.  Because of my awesome thinking skills, my writing is so kick-ass, I rarely need a draft. (Not bragging, just stating a fact…. Ok, maybe I’m bragging a little. Indulge me.)
5. My previous landlords/landladies simply adored me since I hardly made any noise, or any sound for that matter.
6. Silence is never awkward.
7. I’m not afraid to be alone, because I can keep myself company.

So the next time you see me looking so serious or faraway, don’t worry about me. That’s just me deep in thought. You don’t have to fill the silence with needless chit-chat, because I’m good. When you see me eating lunch by myself, don’t feel sorry for me. I’m really just okay. J

The Teacher Bill of Rights

Saw this gem from WeAreTeachers.com and I completely agree. Sadly, this isn't always the case for teachers, especially in third world countries. 

Book Review: The Future Of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler

The future might as well be bleak, if these two are in it...

What if you’re given a chance to see what your life will be like years from now… will you take it? I just finished reading The Future Of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler, and I have to say it’s not worth buying in paperback.

The story is set in 1996 when best friends Josh Templeton and Emma Nelson, after installing a free AOL CD, discover that they’re able to log on to Facebook. But, Facebook hasn’t been invented yet and they’re looking at their lives fifteen years into the future. And as they refresh the pages, they learn that everything they do in the present, no matter how small, creates ripples of change that affect the outcome of their lives later on.

I’ve read Jay Asher’s 13 Reasons Why and it was so good that I was expecting to get the same, if not better, experience reading this book. Dead wrong.

While I was entertained by the premise of the book, the idea of being able to look into the future, the rest of the novel didn't quite live up to my expectations.  First of all, the characters are completely uninspiring, even annoying. Our world is infested enough with self-absorbed, vapid teenagers. Must the protagonists be as well? I mean, personally, I enjoy reading because, by stepping into the characters shoes, something meaningful is added to my life and I gain a little bit of perspective. But, here, the characters are sooo concerned about mundane, idiotic things. I want to read about exciting, vibrant characters; not whiny, shallow teenagers whose main distress are future husbands and old condoms. I mean, sure, maybe they were going for realistic, but the execution leaves much to be desired.

Which brings me to my second point: the focus. If you’re given a portal of sorts into the future, what would you do? Honestly, if I were in that situation, I would have tried to check how I could make myself rich or look at future careers that I could pioneer and make a headway in. But nooo. Apparently, Emma and Josh are more concerned about who they’ll end up with. Talk about wasted opportunities. At least in The Time Traveller’s Wife, Henry had the brains to check out winning lottery numbers.

All in all, I rate this book a 5/10. It might not be great, but it’s an easy read, something to pass the time while you’re on the toilet.

After Coffee Musings #1

There is strength in knowing you are weak.

There is courage in admitting you are afraid.

There is power in accepting that there are things 

you can't do on your own.

...and by breaking down these walls,

you'll realize that 

you are not alone.

And, if you so choose,

you won't ever have to be...

my Haikus

Once in a while, after reading a book or realizing something profound, I get this feeling in my chest that threatens to burst and combust if I don't put it into words. So, here they are, in Haiku form.

June 10, 2013 9:01am

Wounded, I am scarred.

Effervescent sun and wind,

exonerate me.

June 22, 2013 4:08am

The serenity

of the hours before dawn:

a magnificence.

July 7, 2013 12:34pm

Too soon awakened.

Forlorn, I silently weep --

unrealized Dream.

Word Poems

Word Poems

Here are some of the very short poems I wrote that were inspired by a single word from random people. I got the idea from Before Sunrise, an excellent movie, where a Viennese bum asks for words instead of money and creates a poem out of it. 

Word: Poo (this was a challenge, haha)

Getting out of bed

Is hard to do

When you wake up

Feeling like poo.

When everyone around you

Treats you like crap,

And the world just seems

Like a giant trap.

I’d rather just stay in bed

And sleep this through.

Because at least in dreams,

I can begin anew.

Word: Acceptance

The sunset beckons.

Its beauty ensnares.

And as you stand still,

Eyes tearing, soul in pray’r,

Twilight descends.

You embrace the darkness

While the ice in your heart

Has you numb, feeling lifeless.

But until you realize

that soon the sun will rise

You will forever be

Imprisoned in misery.

Stand, face lifted in hope.

Take this stance.

And know that the key

To being free

Is acceptance.

[sarcasm] I'm such a ray of sunshine, aren't I? :) [/sarcasm]