May 7, 2011

In the spirit of motherhood


                As a general rule, I don’t believe in attributing one day to celebrate something or someone.  If you’re really into “the spirit of giving,” why do it only on December? If you really want to show someone your love and affection, why do it only on February? If you really want to honor the memories of our national heroes, why do it only on August? You get the idea. I don’t really appreciate these “holidays,” except for the fact that they’re your ticket to school holidays or days-off. However, the recent onslaught of “happy mothers’ day” greetings on my Facebook newsfeed got me thinking about mothers and why one greeting is borderline ungrateful and why one day (or even one month) is barely enough time to show them our gratitude, appreciation and love.
                I think a lot of people don’t realize that being a mother is a full-time job. Not only is it the most difficult job in the world, it’s also the most underpaid and underappreciated. I can’t really speak from experience because I’m not yet a mother myself. But based on what I’ve observed, it’s one heck of a career. First, let’s begin with the childbearing stage. Since my oldest sister, who after 7 years of trying, has finally gotten pregnant, she and mom began sharing pregnancy stories, which are not only gruesome and cringe-worthy, but have also rendered me horrified of the idea of being prego. I learned that in the first few months (or for some, for the whole term), preggy women would vomit so frequently, that they end up spewing yucky bile and acid; or if there’s really nothing in their stomach to expel anymore, they end up dry heaving. Just imagine how exhausting and not to mention disgusting that is. To describe it as ‘inconvenient’ would be an understatement. Next, for a few preggers, their sense of smell heightens to an extent that they could literally smell your fear. Ok, the last part wasn’t true, but their extra sensitive sense of smell would become so strong that the smell of dry poop for us would smell like a rotting septic tank to them. Couple that with morning sickness and BAM! You won’t be able to leave the bathroom anytime soon. Another interesting tidbit I learned was that, since the fetus growing in your tummy is sucking the nutrients such as calcium from your body, a pregger’s teeth would become extremely sensitive and throb with so much pain, it’s like they’re about to fall off your gums. Talk about agony! There were so much more grisly details about childbearing that I learned but the point is, right at the beginning, becoming a mother is difficult and excruciating. Imagine going through all that and being rewarded in the end with a stubborn, wild child. Haha!
                From that point onwards, it doesn’t get any easier. It gets a lot worse. I’ve only experienced babysitting my two-year-old nephew for 24 hours and I got sick the next day. Just goes to show that I’m not ready to take on that particular path. Then comes the teen years which is the most complicated and head-splitting part of child-rearing. I admit I was kind of a pain in the butt back then (until now, I think haha). I’m sure I’ve contributed a lot to my mother’s graying hair.
                I could go on and on about a mother’s woes but the only thing I’m trying to say is that a single greeting, a single day or month of appreciating our mothers is not nearly enough compared to the hours, days and years of rollercoaster rides they shared with us. I’m not really an expert on how to show gratitude. I admit I haven’t done that much lately. I guess I don’t really know how. But one thing I’m certain of: Mother’s Day is just a made-up gimmick by our every loving capitalist people to come up with extra profits. If you’re thankful of your mothers (or parents for that matter), don’t just show it on this day. Show it every day, every chance you get. Try washing the dishes for once, or doing your own laundry every once in a while. I think they’ll appreciate those efforts more than just saying “Happy Mother’s Day!”

(I should probably listen to my own advice. Haha.
my first attempt at making a demotivational poster. haha. :))

May 6, 2011

Moonbeam





Deep waters flowing,

a cold breeze hushing,
I am a mystery -
a lone, faint moonbeam 
reflected back into the night.
Who can capture my radiance?
Nobody will even try.
Soon, the morning sun will arise.
Soon, my subtle sparkle will die.

May 1, 2011

The Relevance of Rizal

(Here's something a littler deeper and heavier than my usual posts.)


Jose Rizal's first novel, Noli Me Tangere (1887)

Remembering a previous class discussion on Rizal and nineteenth century Philippines, one movie titled Idiocracy (2006) came to mind. It’s about a man named Joe Bauers, an average American, who was selected by the Pentagon to be the guinea pig for a top-secret hibernation program, which went awry. Due to mishaps, Bauers was forgotten and 500 years later, he awakened to find that society has been incredibly dumbed down, making him the most intelligent person alive (Internet Movie Database, n.d.).  It may seem a bit extreme, but I find the movie somehow related to the evolution (or perhaps, regression is a better word) of Filipinos from Rizal’s time, the nineteenth century, to the present.  Just as the society in the movie was dumbed down, the present-day Filipino society has been reduced to a way of seeing that is superficial or of surface value only and has developed an indifferent attitude towards the muddled state of affairs, unlike Rizal and his contemporaries who were able to not only come up with two novels which (unintentionally) marked the onset of the Revolution, but also the mere fact that they were able to decipher its message for what it is speaks volumes about their intellectual capacity to understand and their emotional propensity to care enough about the social situation to act upon it at the risk of bloodshed. One might say that the “why bother” attitude is because the times have changed and that what we are experiencing now is entirely different from the situation a hundred years back. I believe this is true, but only to a certain extent. We may no longer be under the Spanish colonial regime, but we are still unknowingly under another “colonial empire” that is more benevolent, and therefore infinitely more dangerous. One might say that the relevance of Rizal to contemporary times have died with him. I beg to differ. A closer look at his two novels, Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo reveals a lot of similarities regarding the social situation then and now. Perhaps, the times haven’t changed that much.

            Noli and Fili were written by Rizal as a reaction to the Spanish oppressors and as a critique of the society then. Both novels can be seen as (1) an answer to Spain’s oppression; (2) a portrayal of the socio-political situation in the nineteenth century Philippines, including the power struggle between the elite and the masses, social and gender discrimination, lack of (proper) education, etc.; and (3) a depiction of the negative effects of Catholicism, specifically the prayles’abuse of power. These three issues that have been addressed in Rizal’s novels are still relevant to us today because they never really ended, but are like malignant tumors embedded in our system, continually accumulating and are never really given the kind of attention they deserve. 

          The similarities between the issues then, as seen/tackled in Rizal’s novels, and now is frightening because it goes to show that after hundreds of years, we haven’t been able to come up with a solution to solve these problems, if at all we are looking for ways to deal with them. On the contrary, things are looking much worse. First, in Rizal’s time, the oppressing forces, the Spaniards, are very visible, which is why it was much easier for the people to unite and fight against it. Today, the “enemy” is invisible. We are against forces that are intangible and exhibit a benevolent façade, making it difficult for us to fight against it, much less recognize it. We are talking about ‘colonial mentality’ or the thinking that other nations are superior to us, in every way. Because of this attitude and way of thinking, our culture has almost been completely engulfed in the culture of foreign countries. We are now gradually shedding our own identity in exchange for the identity of other nations, almost as if we are ashamed to be Filipinos. We are like Doña Victorina who tries hard, but fails, to be ‘European.’ A common example of this is the “Korean domination.” Our media is seized by the popularity of K-Pop or Korean Pop artists such as the Wonder Girls and Super Junior. We see K-Pop fans, especially young girls scream their lungs out when they see their Korean idols perform on TV, as if they could understand the words to the songs. Furthermore, Filipinos,   especially the adolescents, are now imitating the hairstyle and style of clothing made popular by these Korean artists. Not only that, even their food has penetrated our culture. Just last week, we saw a booth at the Session in Bloom bazaar named Korean Noodles. Anything with the word ‘Korean’ in it is a total hit among the masses. This just shows how much we value foreign cultures almost more than our own.

            A second similar issue is the socio-political situation of nineteenth century Philippines and today. In Noli, we see the power struggle between the elite and the proletariat, gender discrimination and lack of proper and equal education, among other things. At present, it’s obvious that there is still struggle between the rich and the poor. The working class are still fighting for their rights and are still continually being ignored by the elite (government). On the other hand, the elite are given the upper hand, especially when it comes to issues of judicial or legal matters. An example of this kind of discrimination is that news on TV about the comparison of the crimes committed by a retired general and a construction worker. The former, who stole from the AFP funds, went through a long trial, “invoking [his] right against self-incrimination” and had gotten 6 years instead of life imprisonment. The latter, on the other hand, who stole P2, 800 worth of facial products, never went under trial and was sent directly to jail. Of course, both had their faults but the discrimination and injustice is clear. The rich has the government feeding off the palm of their hands while the poor is stepped upon. At the moment, the idea that there will be equality between the elite and the masses is laughable.  We’re not expecting to see it happen in the foreseeable future, but there’s still hope. Aside from this, gender discrimination and lack of proper education, issues that were exhibited in Rizal’s novels, is still prevalent today. Although women have achieved, to a certain extent, power, male dominance still reasserts itself most of the time. The debate on whether or not the MMDA (Metropolitan Manila Development Authority) should hire female bus drivers is an example of this discrimination. The fact that there has to be a debate over it is reason enough. Women are still seen as the weaker sex and therefore, much less “productive.” Meanwhile, the thousands of out-of-school youths due to poverty show the lack of proper education for all.


            Third, the Philippines being the only “Catholic country” in Asia shows how religion still has a powerful grip on society. Just as the prayles in Rizal’s time took advantage of their power and threw their weight around, even in matters of the government, so are the priests and bishops of modern-day Philippines continually influencing and concerning themselves with issues of the state. An example of this is their vehement opposition against the RH Bill (Reproductive Health Bill), which is a law that supports family planning methods and the dissemination of proper birth control and maternal care. Their reason for their disagreement with the bill is because it is against the “natural” way of abstaining from intercourse and that it only promotes pre-marital sex among adolescents. However, in my opinion, their narrow sightedness prevents them from seeing the greater good that will result from this bill, that is, the prevention of the “population explosion” and complications resulting from unwanted pregnancies and abortions.

            In summation, despite the huge time difference, Noli and Fili are still very relevant in today’s society. The issues of 19th century Philippines addressed by the two novels have not been properly solved but are still propagating, and what’s worse, they’re being relatively ignored. Present-day Filipino society has become numb to the issues at hand and has developed an apathetic attitude, in terms of dealing with these problems. However, all is not lost. It’s not too late to educate ourselves about the problems our country is facing and be, someday, part of the solutions. We can follow in Rizal’s footsteps and write about our advocacies. Or, we can read and maybe, one of these days, come across another Noli and/or Fili, which may spark another revolution.     



Apr 2, 2011

am i doing the right thing?
or is my being with you a sin?
could you possibly be the one?
or should i leave you and run?
but just the thought of leaving,
makes it hard to breathe; leaves me reeling.
i can't bear a life without you.
i'm confused and i don't know what to do.
make me believe that what we have
is real and true,
so that maybe, just maybe,
i'll give up everything for you.

Mar 25, 2011

Romantic or not?

I can't take credit for this. I found it years ago from a forwarded e-mail and I wrote it down on an old notebook. Can't remember who it's from, though. But it's hilarious. HAHA. Whoever wrote this is a riot. :))

--


Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.


I thought I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.


Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.


Of loving beauty you float with grace,
if only you could hide your face.


Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
these describe everything you're not.


I love your face, smile, lips and eyes,
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!


My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?


I always see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.


My love for you, no words can tell, 
except for maybe, "Go to Hell."


What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Mar 15, 2011

WOW, i can't believe it took me more than 4 months to update this blog. 4 months! Haha.. actually, i'm not really that surprised. Even when doing school work, it takes me about 5 hours to warm up. Not necessarily because i'm lazy (although, i admit, i sometimes am), i think it has more to do with my setting, than anything else. there's nothing like a spacious desk, a comfortable chair with a backrest and a cup of sizzling hot coffee to keep you going. unfortunately, i've no choice but to work on my bed, where sleep keeps seducing me. i need a better workstation. *subliminal message to parents successfully inserted*


I promise, from now on, I will do my best to keep this blog (and my creative juices) flowing. I keep true to what I said on my first post. Everywhere I look there really is a story going on in my head, but i'm not sure they're appropriate for public consumption, y'know what i'm sayin'? Also, I think it has more to do with me being afraid of saying (or posting) something that i'll disagree with in the future. I guess i'll have to take more risks, be courageous, and confident of my convictions... I'll also try to be more relevant. Sometimes, I get carried away by the liberalness of the arts (if that even makes sense), and i tend to post crap that nobody gives a poop about. 


So, I'll make an oath. If I don't post anything for more than a month, I'll give up chocolate. (Just kidding! I can never give up chocolate. o_o). But seriously, I'll keep on posting, even if it won't make sense. After all, my whole point of starting this blog is for me to be able to practice my writing shtick. 


"are you ready pen? start writing! tenenenen ten tenenenen ten tenenenen..." (props to those who know where i got this.. haha)